Monday, Apr 06, 2020

New York, NY

How Your Dark Side Can Relieve Stress

We all have a dark side, but so many of us are living in denial of it. You know the thing many of us tuck away as if it doesn’t exist, living in denial or shame from fear of what it might reveal if we investigate it. Here’s the rub: In fact, it might be right there, brewing under the […]

I Shouldn’t Feel Like Killing Myself

Why would I want to kill myself? I mean, I should be so happy! So full of self-esteem. I have a great life and, honestly, nothing is wrong. I should be fine.  But I’m not. I feeling like killing myself. Why?  And then I got some sage insight from a mentor, who said something like the following.  None of us […]

Living as a successful, broken person

For some of us, life is so painful that we break on the inside. We try to deny the pain; to cover it. We compensate for it in so many ways. We puff ourselves up in a effort to be powerful. We minimize ourselves in order to hide. We fight a thousand emotions that bid us to resist life. But […]

What We Fail to Recognize Most About Our Inner Selves

Selves. Plural. Like the brain, the psyche is a complex entity, made up of several parts. And like the brain, these parts don’t always agree on the best course of action. Often we feel conflicted or push-pulled in multiple directions to our great distress. Conflicting parts of the psyche can add up to a mess, as in the following examples. […]

The Manager and the Firefighter

According to Internal Family Systems, our internal parts have roles. Some are managers who attempt to steer our thoughts and behavior away from perceived pain. They manage their way through it, trying to avoid trouble. Then there are firefighters. When the managers fail to avoid pain, firefighters come to the rescue. As adults, we typically don’t appreciate the depth and […]

The Mess in my Head

Part of me is traumatized. It screams: I didn’t do anything wrong! Why is this happening? It’s not my fault! I don’t know what to call this part of my psyche. A howling child. The devasted part of me. It’s a bundle of pain that is trapped beneath the surface. When it comes out, I feel that pain – as […]